We thought it was about time we brought you some more hilarious quotes from the world of football, so here are the best quotes of the last seven days…
"Even before the end of the first half I felt as if I had spat my lungs out."
Andrey Arshavin conjures up a charming image as he struggles to adapt to the pace of the Premier League.
“The referee tonight is Turkish, that's a new language for Craig Bellamy to argue in."
ITV commentators in the second leg of Man City v Copenhagen.
"There's two scenarios here. It's an anagram, isn't it? If I get promoted I'm a god and if we don't I'm a dog."
The Wolves manager, Mick McCarthy.
"Is he going to shoot? Of course not, it's Arsenal."
John Motson commentating on Samir Nasri's lack of shooting prowess
"Why is Corluka taking the penalty? He's a defender. It should be Bentley because he's the dead ball expert."
Paul Merson during the Carling Cup final. Corluka scored and 'dead ball expert' Bentley missed
"Here come Manchester City in their bright orange shirts... they're revolting, aren't they? They're giving me a headache!"
5Live’s Jacqui Oatley isn’t a big fan of Man City’s away kit.
"Stephen Ireland's on his own. He's looking for Kompany."
Fox Sports commentator watching West Ham v Man City
"We've got one, we've got two, we've got eight more Oscars than you!"
Radcliffe Borough fans to Lancaster City on the Saturday after local-born Danny Boyle cleaned up at at the Academy Awards
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